Baby Steps Through Motherhood

Well, it is almost a month and a half since my big 30th birthday. Man, I am feeling older…ha ha. All to say to say my 30th birthday was not what I expected it to be in many ways.

I woke up at 7:10 Friday October 23 to a voicemail from my dad. I was thinking he was calling to wish me a “Happy Birthday” but it was the opposite. His voicemail said that my grandma Mary had passed away in the night and my Pa Paw had found her at about 6 that morning. That was a shock to my body. I was very upset! It was sudden and not expected. I had a sense of guilt overcome me because we had plans to go visit them in Arkansas since August and never made it down there due to our house selling, moving out, moving in, etc….life, it gets so busy! She had never met Makenna and she was looking forward to it so much. I felt like I disappointed her by not going there to let her share in the joy of meeting Makenna. I still to this day have to remind myself that she is able to look down and see the kids everyday now and she doesn’t have to wait to see them. The thing is we had plans to go there in 2 weeks after she passed but we never made it there in time. All to say, this day was a hard one. I was upset mot of the day but trying to be thankful for what I did have and trusting that God’s timing is perfect even when we don’t understand it.

The day continued. Josh was able to come home a bit early. I was blessed with a Kitchen Aid mixer on the counter top which was a huge surprise!! I had always wanted one but didn’t think I needed one so this was a fun gift for me.
We went out to Chili’s for dinner with the family. That was nice to be together but I didn’t have much of an appetite from the day. Quite a bummer to not really feel like eating on your birthday!!

Josh had got me a few other gifts also that were very thoughtful. he did a perfect job of making me feel special on my 30th birthday. I got gifts throughout the day when he was home and then when we got back from Chili’s we had to start packing to make the trip to Arkansas on Saturday morning. I was in the kids closet getting their clothes laid out and Josh says “Go get comfortable, I will do it.” That was nice of him but then the doorbell rang. I went to answer the door and standing there was about 10 of my friend singing Happy Birthday to me. WOW. I was surprised, I started crying after such the emotional day. Josh had planned such a special night for me.

He remembered friends from lots of different areas of my life. He later said he had to get into my email to get people’s emails and that he couldn’t find everyones info but he did a good job of including as many as he could find. He set up a secret email account… staci30… for people to correspond with him. I went into the basement and there was a banner hanging that said “Happy 30th Birthday Staci…throwback to the 90’s Spa Night” He had arranged for others to bring their High School yearbooks and pictures for us all to look through and reminise. There was a ton of candles big and small lit. 90’s music playing. Food, food galore….another bummer for not having much of an appetite but I still ate. Spa stuff, paraffin hand, foot bath, etc. It was so thoughtful. He had organized for some of the girls to bring some different things, make up questions about high school to answer, set up etc.

Thank you to my dear husband for making me feel special and loved!!! I know it took a lot of planning and was so impressed and appreciative of all the planning that went into it. Thank you to my dear friends for helping him and making it a special time for us all. I felt loved admist the disappointment of losing Grandma that day.